I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
