I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
