why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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