I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
