brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize