Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
