Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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