I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's just like the Real World with babies
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
