I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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