how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
