I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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