ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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