i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So vagazzling was a success
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
