this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
