I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
