Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
