yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
