im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
