No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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