We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
