I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
