isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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