just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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