i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
