I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm jealous of your bromance
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
