I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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