Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
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Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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