ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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