It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
