I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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