That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
