I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize