K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
