just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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