Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
