Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
