Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
