They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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