hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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