Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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