I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
vagina is talking i cant
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
