I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
