am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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