Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
