i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize