do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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