Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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