I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just want nice things and good sex
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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