My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
