So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
