All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
