So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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