I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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