You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
