I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
