I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
