Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
