Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
