On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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