can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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