would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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